Growing Growing Gone - A Tale of Tween Growth As Told Through The Voice of Bitmoji

I haven't written in a while.  Nothing has moved me to stop napping long enough to write. Not until this morning, that is...

This morning, HRH said something to me that about knocked me over. I wanted to cry but I also felt relieved and then I felt mournful. Her words were profound, mature.... and terrifying.

"What are these words you're saying to me? They are so adult-y."

For those of you new to The Hive, HRH is Her Royal Highness. She is my daughter. She's in The Middle School, now. A couple weeks ago, a boy asked her to be his girlfriend. The Boy claimed to have lost his cell phone and never found it over the course of their 2-3 week lackluster relationship. As a result, they rarely communicated except in the couple classes they had together.

 I called shenanigans, but I tend to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist.  

Fast forward to yesterday, she finds out that The Boy was actually engaged in a bet to see how long it would take HRH to break up with him.

Disclaimer:  I do not have all the data points. But from what I am able to cobble together, it appears the goal was to remain just close enough to keep her hooked but also remain cool and aloof to see how long she'd put up with it. An iron-clad "Guy Code" prevented him from revealing who was in on the bet with him.

Who wants to see my head spin off?

Interestingly, she was not that upset, yesterday. In fact, she didn't even mention it to me when I picked her up after school.  I only learned of the incident from other friends. When I asked her about it, she recounted the details like she were explaining the plot of a TV show and then went back to her homework. Admittedly, she has become expert at pretending she's cold and dead, inside, because she doesn't want me involved in her personal life. And by personal life, I mean "boy life".

I want to clarify that when I picked her up, yesterday, she talked, non-stop, about EVERYTHING else that happened during the day.

So what did she say, this morning, that knocked me over?

I asked her why she didn't tell me what happened. I was pretty crushed that she didn't trust me to come to me with this sort of thing. I have knowledge and advice just waiting to be deployed!

Conspiracy Theory Rule Number 1

"Because, Mom... I have to learn how to do this on my own. Some day, I won't have you. I have to have confidence that I can handle my own battles."

"Will you help me with some of my battles?"

And then she told me about her amazing friends. She recounted how they all rallied around her throughout the entire day... how they all had her back. They all banded together and rose up like a massive force that could NOT be taken down.

The Middle School Avengers

My baby-girl. She's not a baby, anymore.

"Mom. I want to tell him to fuck off. Would you be mad?"

"Nah, girl. It's just a stupid word with a shit-ton of emphasis behind it. Just don't get caught. I can't bail you outta that one. All the teachers and adults, they'll KNOW you learned that shit from ME!"

#TrueStory

I will not name The Boy because my intent is not for this to become a witch hunt, but rather to sing the praises of my not-so-baby-girl and her wonderful friends. I liken these years to a sort of Renaissance era of growth and discovery. They will all fuck up... every one of them. There is no need to slap a scarlet letter on any of them. Hopefully, one day he'll look back and admit to himself this was a major douche moment and he won't do it again. In the meantime, I'm proud to watch my girl rise up like a phoenix out of the ashes.

-B(Sting)